Today I had my second run in with the climbing wall here. I didn't climb it this time, but I was balaying (sp?), which was fun. My hands are hurting after 3 hours though. Whoo! What a drag...heehee, just a little balay humor, I guess. But all in all it was good. The building I work in is pretty shut down right now, but there's still alot to do. Alot of cleaning and such before it can really be put to sleep for awhile. Than my domain will be the gymnasium, of which I am not sure who will clean it while I am gone for Christmas break, but I am sure the Lord already knows that one...which means the maintenance guys will probably have the task of makin' it happen! Whoo hoo! Yeah Maintenance Men! Anyhow, I plan to leave for Chicago (OH YEAH!!! I AM REALLY EXCITED! CITY...HERE I COME!) with my sista Laureen (who's driving in from Cali sometime in the next week and a half) around the 16th...my old high school leader and his wife are called to work in the UAE and craziness has it that I must say goodbye. I may cry. Oh me oh my! hmmm....what else can I rhyme with that?
This is kind of lighthearted compared to previous posts the last few months. I am so much more focused on God now. It's really quite nice. It doesn't mean that the issues aren't still there, but knowing that God is beside me and feeling that more so now, makes things a lot lighter to carry.
Today I was doing my devos and read 1 John 3:1-10 and though I don't remember specifically what it was referring to, I do remember having the concept of "today has enough worries of it's own" finally hit home. As well as the concept of God numbering our steps and holding our future. I could envision it and feel it. The way that someone just lets it go and knows that they don't have to worry as long as they are putting it all in God's hands. They can pray for the day and know that as long as they stay close to Jesus' side, they will get all that He wants them to get done for that day. That includes me. I have quite a few things to do this next few weeks: finals, tests, a few papers, cleaning for groups, set-up for groups, prepping to leave for IL, and PSI and keeping in touch with friends and all that. I am at peace with all that I have to do, because I know that because I am on God's side, He will help me get it all done, and at His timing. I just have to be a good steward of the time He's given me and of the resources. This includes discipline. Of which I am heavily lacking in quite a few areas. But I find that when I do buckle down and discipline myself and stay focused on what is right and not on what I want, than things go much, MUCH smoother and in the end I feel as if I got a lot more accomplished and that God can be proud of me, in a sense, because I was being a good steward and following Him instead of my selfish desires.
I like this. This feeling of peace and of rest, even though I am tired still. But there's this focus on God that I haven't had for awhile. I am not as worried and uptight, mentally anyway, the body is still in need to fall inline completely. But yeah. It's nice. I can't explain it. I just love Jesus a whole lot and feeling this way almost makes it more difficult to say that. I don't know why, but when I am having a hard time it's almost easier to express how much I love Him. But I have this joy right now that is indescribable. I know this is where I am supposed to be and even though I am not sure why, I am really happy. But more than that, I am full of joy and that is such a blessing. Love you.
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