Chronicles of Narnia

Today went pretty well! I talked to my mom on the phone and we talked for about an hour...whoo! I don't think I've talked to my mother so much in just a few days! But it's been really, really good! Then, Laureen and I went for about a 40minute walk and came home, got ready, did some journaling, and went to my g-ma's house to pick up a table and chairs for our Christmas partay manana. I sat and chatted with my grandma for about an hour or so and than headed out to Borders...ooo...bookstores are bad for me. I sat there for at least an hour looking through the Christian literature section. I of course had already made my rounds in the cookbook section and the health and wellness part of the store, but since I don't really want a specific book (besides maybe the Joy of Cooking or the Better Homes and Gardens cookbooks), I passed them up and headed to the Christian lit section. I picked up one book and a new devo, both of which I am pretty psyched about diving in to! Woot woot! Yeah, but those previously mentioned books are rangin from 30-40 dollars and a $20 gift card just won't pass the buck..if you don't mind my pun! Muhahaha!
But yeah, so then I picked up some salad material, started the traditional seven layered salad (for Christmas of course), and picked up Laurizzle. than I finished the salad and headed out to meet my two sistas and mumsy for Chronicles of Narnia, which was oh so very good, but it could have been better. Sorry fans, but my impressed button is on short order. I like a lot of things, but getting easily impressed is something I still have to work on, eh? But yeah, it was very good. I grew up watching the BBC version of it, very corny, yet artistically claiming for that day and age. They definitely had it goin' on in this recent remake. I envied their dresses, well Susans' mostly...heehee...man, I want a dress like that! The computer animation was very well presented, however you could definitely tell at certain times that it was conjured up from the inner workings of a mechanical object, but most times it was hardly noticeable and because you were caught up in the plot, made it barely memorable. Oh, though watching it now and really catching on to all those connections to Scripture made it that much more worth watching...ooh! So good and just seeing some of that stuff and knowing how it connects to the Bible, I'll admit it, I was getting emotional! It was very good though. Probably won't go see it again, but I may buy it when it comes out on DVD or VHS, if VCR's are still around *wink*
By the way, Stephen Arterburn is amazing. Touched by God, so good.

No dice

So, it's been really good being home so far. Here's what I've done thus far:
Wednesday: got home, slept over at the Nemec's, watched a Nooma, made 3 cheesecakes
Thursday: Woke up at 6am (shuteye was at 1:30am...), sang Christmas carols for 2 hours, went out to eat with the crowd from church that showed up, slept, home, hung out, Christmas party for the college group, ate, hung out...Nooma video (luggage)
Friday: slept in, ran some errands (some last minute Christmas buys), went to my mom's and helped her and my sis Rachael bake for Eve get-together (3pm-10pm)
Saturday: slept in, went to Starbuck's, met my mom's other half, hung out at my sis Christine's apt from 4pm-11pm, watched White Christmas, hung out, good times, talked with my mom in her car for 3 hours...11-2am...
Sunday: woke up, breakfast at a restaurant with mi papa y mis tres hermanas....!tiempo bien! went to church...talked and hugged ALOT (and that's an understatement...one older gentleman (his wife was there too!) Laureen and I are friends with, almost cried...oh it was very emotional!), went home, ate popcorn, found out that the Simpson kids are the cutest kids of all time...hmmm....watched White Christmas with my dad, went to Uncles' house, chatted with relatives, lots of hugging...home...talked with Laureen, here.'

It has been good being home, lots has happened so far and the days ahead are guaranteed to be filled with events to recapture good times of the past so as to recreate and recapture moments for now...if that makes sense. But I have to admit that I am really glad I came home and I wouldn't trade these days, times, or moments for anything. It just makes me sad to even think that maybe one day I won't be so close by, y'know? I don't want to be. I love my family so much. Man, it's good to be home.
Tomorrow I am going to watch The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe with mom and sistas and Tuesday is my dad's side of the family get together/grab bag dilio. So that promises good times and lots of good eatin'!
Anywho...oh! Other news: I bought a Tony Little Gazelle Freestyle and am excited about it! So, it was about $100 and that's pretty cheap cause it costs about $200+ in the stores. I am pretty siked. But yeah, gotta go and hit the sack, I am bushed and am fighting a cold..I think. My whole fam is getting sick and I am not sleeping too pretty. So...we'll see! I think I may leave for home (in Nebraska) on Friday and make a stop in Omaha on Saturday...home by Saturday night and church on Sunday. Good times. We'll see though, y'know? I was going to go home on Wednesday, but I have a peace about leaving later and it's all good, y'know? Miss y'all! KIT, eh?!
Oh and Merry Christmas y'all!

Being Home

So, I am trying to decide when to leave here. I actually feel like maybe staying longer than this next Wednesday, which is when I was planning on heading out. Things here are ok. I had a really good time with my mom and two next oldest sisters. It's really nice to get together, we made: 2 batches of crescent rolls, 2 batches mocha balls, 2 batches of green stuff (jello but more than jello), and an apple crisp. It was good. We were able to listen to some good cds and talk some. I grew abit I think and that was good. Learned about my mom's boyfriend a little more. He is taking us out for coffee tomorrow cause he's leaving for Arizona to see his kids. That's cool. Tight-knit I hope they are. My dad's girlfriend left yesterday and left him with a whole pile of presents. He's pretty excited about it. But I won't get to meet her, well, if I don't stay longer, probably no. Truthfully? I kind of don't want to meet either of my parental units current other halves. Not sure why, but I think it's normal. I'm kinda just hanging out and doing what I need to do. Seeing who I need to see. Consistently talking to extended family members is definitely an area to work on for me. But yeah, so far so good I guess, I didn't sleep too well last night, but the night before (I slept over at my friend Linnea's) oh, it was sweet, sweet sleep. So, I hope to get better sleep tonight and put wishful thinking the something is wrong with the mattress, eh? eh?
I hope to go to church on Sunday. It is my dad's birthday as well, soo...perhaps. But we'll see. It's kind of late, eh? eh? Thought I'd throw some more Canadia in there. I am going to Canada near end of January! Woot woot! Recruiting trip for MBC, so I am pretty excited and also hope to make a trip to Mexico in March sometime. Laureen may go to Mexico as well, but not with the group that I am going with. Good times were had by all! But yeah. Tomorrow should be good and perhaps some deeper thoughts will be shared later on. Maybe something I have been pondering for awhile, eh? catch ya lata! Stay close with Jesus eh?

Going home

So, I am going home. this should be interesting. They don't even know that I'm coming home yet. Not sure if I should publish this, cause Laurizzle might read it, but the best comes in the end when you're lying on the floor crying for mercy. Tell me how that makes sense, I consider it a revelation. This has thrown me into a tangent...it's true. The sun comes out when you think you can't handle anymore, when you're broken and falling and alone, crying, and scared. In the times when you cry out to God, you can't sleep, you're eyes won't shut, you're body and mind are restless and you are sincerely hurting from the soul on out, that is when God chooses to lighten it, when you finally realize that you can't handle anymore and you give it to God. Why do we consistently do that? What does it gain us? It's perhaps that independence thing. We want to say that we did this or that we did that, we want to be able to do things on our own and trust only in us, when we're broken, isn't it funny, that that is when He hears us admit that we need Him. I guess an "expert" (per se) would be one who is doing just fine, in fact, they're doing great and awesome, everything is going right. They are the ones that will get down on their knees, plant thier face on the ground, and kiss the dirt knowing that they are there because of God. How many times will it take while we're lying on the ground, drinking our tears, that we will realize that there is something so much greater than us and we have to realize that in times of good and bad, not just bad times. Nothing is ours. Nothing belongs to us, not even us. Why do we act like it?
...how was that for a tangent?

10 things you might not know about me....I got tagged

1: I used to want to be Amish, deep inside I still do.
2: My twin was an unexpected child, and than there were two of us!
3: My mom signed me up for a tumbling class when I was like 6 or something. I never participated. Imagine that.
4: I've never been kissed
5: My longest "crush" was 8 years
6: I still get afraid of the dark
7: I've wanted to have some part in missionary work since I was about 11 years old
8: I haven't had a soda in 5 years, maybe 4 1/2 years
9: I used to sing in the church choir back home, most times wearing army boots, pigtails, a plaid skirt complete with shorts underneath, and a Philmore t-shirt....heehee...
10: I had to "relearn" how to cry

Ten things you didn't know...now you do...what say you? What say you?!!!

Well, I guess I tag Jo and Dez and whoever else may read this blog....perhaps Laureen and Toby...Hosanna if she ever gets around to it...I don't know who reads this....just tell me that I tagged you...haha! I figured it out...we'll go on an honesty system...if you read my blog, leave a little comment and I'll go to your blog to read the "Ten Things..." i don't know about you! Mrrmrrmrr! I am a genius! Ooo...I guess Jesus gets tagged too, but I don't think He has a blog, I guess I'll have to read His Book and see what I can learn about Him that I didn't know before..ooo...that's like a really fun way to do Bible research, eH? eh?

Crystal's amazing relationship advice....heehee...

*name not included to protect the victim...heehee* (...this part was added after e-mail was sent. blame it on my overactive brain, critical thinking, problem solving, oh just pick one!)
"Just find a woman who loves God and is yearning to be your helpmate. Her calling in life matches your calling in life. She'll be your bestfriend. Y'know? Too many broken relationships in Christians nowadays. So take your time and find that one, the one that you can see yourself better with her than without, the one who makes your stomach turn, the one you can't speak right with, the one you can argue with one moment and than tell them you love them the next, the one you love even when that "feeling" isn't there for the moment, the one you can't see yourself living without b/c you know she's gonna take real good care of you and you can't wait to take good care of her and one who you can love more than yourself, but you still love God more than her, vice versa and realizing together that you are able to serve God better and better each day because you have eachother. How's that?
....Keep pursuing God with all that you are, and in His own, good timing, He will show you all you need to know."

Ever feel like the fat kid in dodgeball...

...always picked last?

I was thinking about that and thought it was funny. A good analogy. Whatever.
So, I just got off the phone with my dad and it was interesting. He wanted to know what I wanted, he told me to give him the answer that was on my heart. That was kind of weird. A good weird, but weird nonetheless. Unfortunately for him, I play devil's advocate, usually against myself, so yeah. It was good though. Pressure is off, so he said I could come home now or when things tone down abit more. So that was pretty... pretty good. No worries and things are a'ok. Now I just have to figure out if going home is what I should be doing. Man, you'd think I had a bipolar disorder or something. Just makes you aware of how your emotions can affect you and if they go unchecked, man you've got a problem. Good thing Jesus loves me! mrr!
P.s. Oooo....so today I am excited about my devo! I am going to read about dependence and independence and all that jazz...good stuff. I am excited.
P.s.s. Something feels different. I feel focused again. Things still don't seem quite real, but I have this "oomph" for life that I get every once inawhile. That "feel good" feeling, y'know? You're excited for the day, to learn new things, and to just live. It's nice. It really is.

finished...for now!

I just got out of my psych final, picked up a few free books and now I am here, informing those of you who are out there, that i am done. Fine! (add an accent on the "e" and it'll make a whole lot more sense.) So I am relieved to be done, but nervous about my grades still. Man, I am too much of a perfectionistic, eh? I guess it's all good and done. I've basically done all that I can and handed in all the extra credit assignments and went to all (but one nutrition class. )= ) my classes. It's good. I am ready for a break, but still thirsting for something to tickle and tease my brain. Stimulation! Maybe I'll read my textbooks again just for fun...man, I am starting to sound like a nerd...mrr! Well, if God loves me, so do I. The weather outside seems pretty good. The lady that picks me up every Tuesday (Sue) told me I should wear a jacket more, eep! I guess I really am ok without one, but I get cold every once inawhile. No worries! Finals are done! If I get a "C" in psych though, I'm gonna have to take it over, so pray for my psych grade! Although, if I had to take it again, it'd be alright. I'd have the same teacher and get twice as much out of it, so no worries. I'd actually be excited to take it over, it's almost (but not nearly) as exciting as Cal MacFarlane's classes...oooo....now there was some soul food! Whoop! Kicked my spiritual butt all over the atmosphere. Well, I am getting better at remaining positive, so that's positive if I do say so myself. Well, this is already too long! Catch ya lata! Peace out, enjoy the break and I'm praying for you during this time of finals, finals, and more finals!

Part of me longs to be with them. All of me wants to tell them how much they need Jesus and have them hear me. Part of me wants to laugh, smile, and joke around with them. Part of me wants to make them dinner and give them little surprises. All of me wants them to believe that they do mean alot to me. All of me just wants them to understand. All of me just wants to curl up in Jesus' arms and rest. Part of me just wants to stay. To stand outside in the cold weather and breathe for a few moments and not think about the task of everyday life. Part of me just wants to lay in the snow and laugh at myself b/c I'm laying there b/c I fell there. To wake up with the sunrise and watch the sun go down at night. To walk around and see the stars. Hmm...

finals today! mrr!

God is so amazingly good to me. He woke me up at the proper time this morning and I was able to do devos and study a bit before the lovely JoAnn came to get me. I studied about relying on God and knowing that He loves you and thinks you're worthy. Colossians 1:15-23 was the passage and it was correlating to Jonathan ... mrr, can't remember his last name. Hmm...But there's been alot on my mind lately. This is just a little of it.
So I just finished my first final for today. One more to go: Psych. I must admit that studying for this one was much more difficult and I couldn't concentrate very well, so I studied for the one that I was able to, nutrition, I think I did pretty well. Hopefully close to an A+, but we'll see, eh? I am pretty nervous about this psych final. None of his tests are easy or even moderately challenging. They kick my butt. So, if I got a straight 100% on this final, I would get a 92% in the class. I was thinking last night how improbable that is. Nevertheless I am up for the challenge, at least I know what I am up against. I actually feel excited about studying more for this. I just hope my brain kicks into action.
Well, I've been thinking about going home and think I shocked my nutrition teacher with what I said about Christmas. I told her that I had missed last Christmas at home b/c I was in Canada (I think I worked Christmas Eve and spent Christmas alone...? I can't remember...) and that missing this Christmas wouldn't be a big deal b/c it's kind of lost it's meaning. I guess it's not that it lost it's meaning about Christ and His birth, I think that becomes more relevant to my life each passing year, day even, but Christmas at home isn't centered around that. We might go out for breakfast and later at night we'd go to my uncle's and eat and open our gift from our "Secret Santa". Talk about the weather and school and all that, new job, new place. It just feels so empty. We might get together with my mom and she would give us these little stuffed animals, a notepad, and a few ornaments, maybe a picture frame and a calendar she may think we'd like. Perhaps it's just become too predictable. As if I am standing in front of a movie rack, trying to figure out which movie I want to see again. You run the film through your mind and try to make a good choice. Part of me wants to please them. All of me wants to please God. I love my family. I do, I ache for them. I want to hang out with them and spend time with them. Why do I feel this unpeace? None of those reasons that would seem a barrier to me going home have never stopped me from doing just that. That I know. I love my family too much to not go home because part of me fears their disapproval. That I know. I sound borderline-ridiculous, don't I?
I guess I'm just confused. Is this really what God wants? Do I love God more than my family? I'm sure I do, otherwise I'd still be at home and working at Subway. Why is it so hard for me to grasp?
On another thought, although it's sort of connected: I guess in a sense I dislike expectations. Expectations for anything. Assumptions are bad too, but someone once told me that we live off of assumptions. Do you think we live off expectations or assumptions more? Expectations drive you, I suppose. Assumptions allow you the opportunity to not think, to live without really paying attention. Both are essential to life and yet they cause so much trouble. I also guess that that would be what you expect or what you assume. But what if that expectation was for you to go home for Christmas and the assumption was that you were going to do just that. You know what my problem was/is, I am, by nature, or conditioned perhaps, to be a people-pleaser. This is a tough job for anyone, I was a pro. Always willing to bend over backwards to please you and to be and do whatever you wanted. Maybe that's why I am having so much trouble nowadays. I am trying to be who I am yet my old people-pleasing nature is fighting it every step of the way. I'm blessed to be where I am at, in that I do what God wants over what even I want. I guess that's why I have to think a bit longer than most when I make a decision. I am trying to decide where my heart and motives are. But I still get confused and feel despaired. I love God and I love my family. I know what I have to do, why does it suck so much? Perhaps just that. I love my family. I don't want to hurt or disappoint them. I want the best for them. I want them to be happy and content and love Jesus. So why is it that when I give them what they want things just seem to get worse?
sidenote: We live in a country where near to nothing is ever denied us. What do we do in those times when God says "no"?

(God is still good and loving, always and always.)

just what's on my mind

So, I come bearing some iffy news...I don't think I am going home for Christmas...here's the dilio:
I was supposed to drive home with Kacy (from Oregon) and than drive back for some MBC snow fun! Wootwoot! But, she is unable to make it...*sad face*. Her car is poo and she isn't feeling right about coming. So...I tried to assure her that it was alright, she was kind of upset cause she knew I was looking forward to it. Today I talked to my sister on the phone and she was pretty much sad that I said I might not come home, but said that whatever God wanted was best. I know I didn't go home last year for Christmas, and this year, I just don't feel right about it. I know it's not good to base things off of feelings, but I've just been praying about it and I have had this feeling for a while like God didn't want me home this year. Why? Who knows. I sure don't. I know that I want to be obedient to whatever God has planned for me. I know that much. I know that I won't completely screw up the universe if I decide to make the wrong choice. Is it really this difficult? Am I making it harder than it seems? There are so many good reasons, I guess, to go home, and seemingly so few to stay here. But why is it that when I look at Greyhound tickets or an Amtrak ride, it feels like I am disobeying Him? Is this one of those sitch's where I just need to make a decision? I am at a loss right now. I am still joyful and ready to study for finals next week, but struggling with this decision. My family will be hurt if I don't go home and I am craving a few moments of time with Laureen. I would like to see my church family again and pick up a few things that I would like to have here, but why does it feel like something is wrong? This is one of those times when I think I just have to trust God that His best is out there and whatever I can see (which isn't much) is not even a miniscule part of what He has planned for me. mrr.
Anywho...I sent out a bunch of support letters today...mrr! Pray for them please, they are important to my thriving here. Yes I am surviving, but thriving is so much better.
I spent half my workday doing that and than half my work day dry mopping and than wet mopping the gym. Whoo! Blisters are a welcomed on me hands, I tell ya!
Oh, I had suppers 8 (a group of 8 or 10...from my church here(Berean Fellowship Church) get together and eat and talk) on Thursday! God is so good. He is continually faithful to get me in and out of town when needed. (which reminds me, I have to call for a ride for church tomorrow) But that is another story about that...but during the talking time which was after the eating time...ooo....let's break so I can tell you about supper....we had this amazing salad (mixed greens, mixed nuts, homemade salad dressing, broken up ramen noodles...ooo), breaded halibut (from Alaska of all places! caught by the host himself!) and another fish...(name escapes me...), savory potatoes, homemade bisquick rolls, and this amazing peach cobbler...oh, so very amazingly good! But yeah, so we were talking and got on the subject of society, love, and need. Which kind of connects to what I talked about before (man, I'm kinda hungry...). But the host said, "Love is the act of fulfilling a need." I thought that was so interesting that he said it...I also tried really hard to remember that! But also about what the different sexes need at a high school age (boys-respect/ girls-security). I was just blessed throughout the evening with the conversation and just how they were talking about how we were all family and if someone had a need than share it and all this. It was refreshing and I have to admit, it was making me cry. It was like God saying, "hey, it's ok to ask for what you need." meeting a need is like saying "I love you" to someone, I guess, because you care enough about them to take the time out or to make the sacrifice to get that other person what they need. So many do without because they are afraid of asking or afraid of rejection or whatever. But could it be more detrimental to your health, body, soul, and mind to put that aside and ignore what God built into you as a need? A need is meant to be met, otherwise God wouldn't have built it into you as a need. Independence is definitely a pusher when it comes to stifling needs. But on the other hand you are taking the chance of telling someone, who might not love you enough to meet your need, something that could cause some mrrmrrness between you. Y'know? I don't know. Any aspect of relationships seems so tricky! Did God mean for it to be this way? Surely not. Always guessing, always wondering. Man...but I guess if everyone was really blunt about everything, we'd all be pretty badly off. Everyone would hate eachother. Maybe not...now I am just babbling. But, the point is, is that everyone has needs. Are we watching for those people who are not yet ready to come out and ask for us to meet that need, so we can meet their need without them even asking? If you do, it's kind of like saying, "Hey, I care about you. It's ok to ask if you need something. Even if you can't ask, I'm watching out for you." Yeah. Hugs, encouragement, rides, smiles...those are all things that I need. I have to admit that sometimes people do notice the need and meet it, but sometimes I have to be brave and ask. So it's a two-way thing. Relationships...although in the tough times they may be 20-80 or 60-40 instead of 50-50, they should never be 0-100. Y'know? yeah.

to continue on...

Yes yes....so I will talk alittle about relationships today and love...but will I talk about them together, just keep reading I guess...is that a good teaser?
anywho...I had two lovely, God-filled young ladies stay in my trailor last night. I got to "take care" of them, sort of. It was fun playing hostess! But yeah, my good friend Hosanna called and she asked about them staying over, plus one guy, but he stayed at Toby's ...no way is a boy staying at my place unless he's a guy I am related to or is staying with me with his wife or I am his wife...lol! I crack myself up! But I think those are the only allowable circumstances to have a guy actually stay overnight in my trailor. Maybe if I'm not there...
Do you believe the rule that "rules are made to be broken" if so, does it apply to all rules or just some of them?
I found out what the word "pansy" meant today...not going to use that one anymore.
Okay...so one of the girls (Yvette) asked me what I liked best about living here at MBC. Here's what I concluded: no matter what I am going through I am learning something. I love how much I am learning about anything. I learned how to take care of a trailor in the winter, how to fix some stuff on a car, how to change a bicycle tire, how to drive stick shift, how to belay for wall climbing, I'm learning some new tricks on my skates...so much in terms of "outside myself" learning, but also internal stuff, like how not worry, how to let things go, how to love unconditionally. That's a good one. It's so refreshing knowing that even if you do something wrong a person who unconditionally loves you will let it go and move on. They aren't going to throw it in your face later or use as backstabbing collateral. I really like that and in some sense I love unconditional love. It brings peace. It's amazes me. It near makes me want to cry because I know what it feels like to receive it and I know how great it is to "pass" it out as well. It really is an amazing thing.
I guess this next piece is tied to the previous piece:
did you ever notice in movies that guys always go for the "amazingly hot" girl and leave the more "girl-next-door" friend at home? I just noticed this trend in movies, call me blind, maybe I am just acknowledging it now. It even happens in cartoons: Shark Tale (not worth seeing), Wives and Daughters, these are the only two I can think of right now... but, not to give girls slack, this happens to guys in movies too: 10 things I hate about you, 13 going on 30...etc. Granted there are movies where one friend is going for the other friend and that friend refuses them because it's a one-way feeling... Anywho, this isn't very well thought through now that I threw that in there...call it a cloud-clearing during processing... I don't know, in my own observational experiences and in what entertainment I've seen, the population tends to move toward the seemingly beautiful, but obviously depthless things, ppl, etc. Man, need to clear my head...ok, so they go for these things that are popping up when you least expect them to, almost to fulfill some need immediately, when right in front of them is what they've wanted/needed all along. Why is that? Why do we go for what we think we want/need when what we really need/want is right there? Are we just not aware of what we truly want/need? I guess that's why I pray that so much, "God give me what I need." because sometimes, you just aren't aware of what you truly do want/need. You know?
does any of this make sense? We are reaching out, grasping for money, people, things, ideas, dreams, that are not good for us and we give all that we are and all that we have to obtain it and than if and when we do get it, it's not what we want or need at all. Why? Are we just not willing to wait? Or we not patient enough? are we too patient? are we not putting in the work needed to get what we really need? are we not willing to put ourselves out there in vulnerability? (I s'pose that one has more to do with relationships, cause if you want a red Corvette...is there vulnerability involved?)
Here's my conclusion: we want the best and we can't recognize it when we see it, so we go for the cheapened and the useless.
Yeah, so that's it I guess, man I feel so...mrrr, now. Any comments?

YeeeHaaAWWWW!!!!!!

Yeah, so things here are going pretty well! I just got to talk to my parental unit (dad) and my sis Rachael last night. No longer are either single but exclusively dating...they at least sound happy, I am excited for them, but hope that both are Christians or at least are going that way...hmmm...but anyway, I also talked to my good friend Kacy from Oregon and she just quit her job...she didn't like it and although I am kind of mrred b/c I don't know what other job opportunities she has...she is coming out here and coming home with me for about a week! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so excited....I just can't hide it!!!! woot woot! I am really excited. Can't you tell! But it makes me sad cause Laureen just bought her plane ticket to go home the night before! MRR! But I trust that God has a plan and that He is working through it all. That much I know. So I trust Him and wait to see what will happen in minor anticipation! Just signed up for some classes and am not sure whether to sign up for math or keep my ceramics class...I reallly want to keep my class...but duty may call me to be ... dutiful. Yeah. So, we'll see and perhaps I can even do an independent study for ceramics...? Plus I have to find out which math class I actually need: college algebra or intermediate algebra... we'll see, but I have no clue how to do that, but I have an idea of where to start, so that's something. Well, best go...I have some other things I want to chat about, but I am running out of time and out of here! Mrrmrrmrr! (think Underdog...)
TTFN! MMRRRR!

God is so good!

I feel as if that title implies that because I am going to write something good, that God is only good when I am feeling good or when good things happen. Don't get me wrong, it is excellent when I'm "walkin' on sunshine" (which is my theme song by the way...) but I also see the good in the seemingly bad and ugly.
I guess that means today, I'm Clint Eastwood and the others have or will come out later... ;)
Anywho...I'm just waiting cause on our way out of camp our van did a 360 into a ditch...yes, Crystal got into another vehicle accident, just can't seem to get enough of them, eh?
But I'm just waiting like a good girl in the office. Waiting and waiting. Yeah, but last night, I can't tell you how much I got done. I know it's a bad idea to work 7 days a week, but this was so refreshing, mostly because I got some stuff done that I haven't been able to get to in awhile and though it's not completely finished, it's more organized so it will be easier to tackle in the next few days. But I got so much done. God really multiplied my time. I like to think it's because I am trying to honor Him with my time and all that I am. But it's more than that, it's simply because He loves me and that is refreshing.
School is going pretty well and if I kick butt, mayhaps I can even get an "A" in psych! wootwoot! Yeah, so I am pretty psyched...heehee pardon the unintentional pun! Better than drowning my tea bag for information though! (Dez, you know what I'm talkin' about, nudge, nudge!) Wow, I feel different than before. Perhaps I was taking a walk in the valley, eh? God is so good not to leave us there forever though.
Going home: a possibility, but not a definite as of yet. We'll see what happens as the week unfolds. Laureen just bought a round-trip ticket from Sacremento to Chicago. Thereby leaving me to drive home and back here by myself. Doesn't leave us much time to hang out, which really grieves me. But we decided that since a roundtrip costs about $250.oo and one from redding to north platte would cost $350.oo oneway only, we didn't think it was right to go that route. There are plans in action though. I really hope that God works things out to His glory. I will miss the time with my sister, but she has way more time to spend at home, a job opportunity, and no rush to go back to redding. So I am content that God is working through this. Don't know how He's going to use it, but He will. Sounds weird to me even that I am writing about this. Seems somewhat juvenile. You never really know how close you are to someone or how much they mean to you until you are separated, even if only for a day.
Much love to you all. (Jo, these are getting longer...hope that satifies you, my dear!)

bloogger for werd

This is a test for blogger for word…hmmm… this could be interesting. I almost never have to go on blogger again…crazy!

statistic

35% of adults believe that 80% of the top 20% of the world's population are wrong about what 65% of the world believes 50% of the time.

hmmm....someone stole my blog!

well, they didn't really steal it, they are just using the same backdrop...makes me sad that there isn't more creativity floating around. It'd be way more fun to hack out your own blog design and smack it up. I've seen it done and than they put them up so that others can use them. I suppose imitation is the best form of flattery, so I will assume that they saw how amazing my blog was and just had to copy the design! Well, that makes me feel alittle better!
Today I had my second run in with the climbing wall here. I didn't climb it this time, but I was balaying (sp?), which was fun. My hands are hurting after 3 hours though. Whoo! What a drag...heehee, just a little balay humor, I guess. But all in all it was good. The building I work in is pretty shut down right now, but there's still alot to do. Alot of cleaning and such before it can really be put to sleep for awhile. Than my domain will be the gymnasium, of which I am not sure who will clean it while I am gone for Christmas break, but I am sure the Lord already knows that one...which means the maintenance guys will probably have the task of makin' it happen! Whoo hoo! Yeah Maintenance Men! Anyhow, I plan to leave for Chicago (OH YEAH!!! I AM REALLY EXCITED! CITY...HERE I COME!) with my sista Laureen (who's driving in from Cali sometime in the next week and a half) around the 16th...my old high school leader and his wife are called to work in the UAE and craziness has it that I must say goodbye. I may cry. Oh me oh my! hmmm....what else can I rhyme with that?
This is kind of lighthearted compared to previous posts the last few months. I am so much more focused on God now. It's really quite nice. It doesn't mean that the issues aren't still there, but knowing that God is beside me and feeling that more so now, makes things a lot lighter to carry.
Today I was doing my devos and read 1 John 3:1-10 and though I don't remember specifically what it was referring to, I do remember having the concept of "today has enough worries of it's own" finally hit home. As well as the concept of God numbering our steps and holding our future. I could envision it and feel it. The way that someone just lets it go and knows that they don't have to worry as long as they are putting it all in God's hands. They can pray for the day and know that as long as they stay close to Jesus' side, they will get all that He wants them to get done for that day. That includes me. I have quite a few things to do this next few weeks: finals, tests, a few papers, cleaning for groups, set-up for groups, prepping to leave for IL, and PSI and keeping in touch with friends and all that. I am at peace with all that I have to do, because I know that because I am on God's side, He will help me get it all done, and at His timing. I just have to be a good steward of the time He's given me and of the resources. This includes discipline. Of which I am heavily lacking in quite a few areas. But I find that when I do buckle down and discipline myself and stay focused on what is right and not on what I want, than things go much, MUCH smoother and in the end I feel as if I got a lot more accomplished and that God can be proud of me, in a sense, because I was being a good steward and following Him instead of my selfish desires.
I like this. This feeling of peace and of rest, even though I am tired still. But there's this focus on God that I haven't had for awhile. I am not as worried and uptight, mentally anyway, the body is still in need to fall inline completely. But yeah. It's nice. I can't explain it. I just love Jesus a whole lot and feeling this way almost makes it more difficult to say that. I don't know why, but when I am having a hard time it's almost easier to express how much I love Him. But I have this joy right now that is indescribable. I know this is where I am supposed to be and even though I am not sure why, I am really happy. But more than that, I am full of joy and that is such a blessing. Love you.