Going home

So, I am going home. this should be interesting. They don't even know that I'm coming home yet. Not sure if I should publish this, cause Laurizzle might read it, but the best comes in the end when you're lying on the floor crying for mercy. Tell me how that makes sense, I consider it a revelation. This has thrown me into a tangent...it's true. The sun comes out when you think you can't handle anymore, when you're broken and falling and alone, crying, and scared. In the times when you cry out to God, you can't sleep, you're eyes won't shut, you're body and mind are restless and you are sincerely hurting from the soul on out, that is when God chooses to lighten it, when you finally realize that you can't handle anymore and you give it to God. Why do we consistently do that? What does it gain us? It's perhaps that independence thing. We want to say that we did this or that we did that, we want to be able to do things on our own and trust only in us, when we're broken, isn't it funny, that that is when He hears us admit that we need Him. I guess an "expert" (per se) would be one who is doing just fine, in fact, they're doing great and awesome, everything is going right. They are the ones that will get down on their knees, plant thier face on the ground, and kiss the dirt knowing that they are there because of God. How many times will it take while we're lying on the ground, drinking our tears, that we will realize that there is something so much greater than us and we have to realize that in times of good and bad, not just bad times. Nothing is ours. Nothing belongs to us, not even us. Why do we act like it?
...how was that for a tangent?