Randomly opening my Bible, here's what I got:
Isaiah 59
Sin, Confession and Redemption
1 Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save,
nor his ear too dull to hear.
2 But your iniquities have separated
you from your God;
your sins have hidden his face from you,
so that he will not hear.
3 For your hands are stained with blood,
your fingers with guilt.
Your lips have spoken lies,
and your tongue mutters wicked things.
4 No one calls for justice;
no one pleads his case with integrity.
They rely on empty arguments and speak lies;
they conceive trouble and give birth to evil.
5 They hatch the eggs of vipers
and spin a spider's web.
Whoever eats their eggs will die,
and when one is broken, an adder is hatched.
6 Their cobwebs are useless for clothing;
they cannot cover themselves with what they make.
Their deeds are evil deeds,
and acts of violence are in their hands.
7 Their feet rush into sin;
they are swift to shed innocent blood.
Their thoughts are evil thoughts;
ruin and destruction mark their ways.
8 The way of peace they do not know;
there is no justice in their paths.
They have turned them into crooked roads;
no one who walks in them will know peace.
9 So justice is far from us,
and righteousness does not reach us.
We look for light, but all is darkness;
for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows.
10 Like the blind we grope along the wall,
feeling our way like men without eyes.
At midday we stumble as if it were twilight;
among the strong, we are like the dead.
11 We all growl like bears;
we moan mournfully like doves.
We look for justice, but find none;
for deliverance, but it is far away.
12 For our offenses are many in your sight,
and our sins testify against us.
Our offenses are ever with us,
and we acknowledge our iniquities:
13 rebellion and treachery against the LORD,
turning our backs on our God,
fomenting oppression and revolt,
uttering lies our hearts have conceived.
14 So justice is driven back,
and righteousness stands at a distance;
truth has stumbled in the streets,
honesty cannot enter.
15 Truth is nowhere to be found,
and whoever shuns evil becomes a prey.
The LORD looked and was displeased
that there was no justice.
16 He saw that there was no one,
he was appalled that there was no one to intervene;
so his own arm worked salvation for him,
and his own righteousness sustained him.
17 He put on righteousness as his breastplate,
and the helmet of salvation on his head;
he put on the garments of vengeance
and wrapped himself in zeal as in a cloak.
18 According to what they have done,
so will he repay
wrath to his enemies
and retribution to his foes;
he will repay the islands their due.
19 From the west, men will fear the name of the LORD,
and from the rising of the sun, they will revere his glory.
For he will come like a pent-up flood
that the breath of the LORD drives along. [a]
20 "The Redeemer will come to Zion,
to those in Jacob who repent of their sins,"
declares the LORD.
Well, today was good. I had math class, though I find it interesting, I'm getting alittle bored. Not perfect in the class yet, but I could use a bit more of a challenge, though I am having fun. I thank God that I decided to take this class instead of Intermediate Algebra (two classes below this one...) That would have been a nightmare, and I get my math credit out of the way, though I may want to pursue more math classes in the future, I just love numbers. I think my obsession for math is growing, it's starting to invade my posts...one post at a time! Ahh!
Anywho, I am going to sing, "Come Thou Fount" for my voice class. I'm kind of excited about it, it's more jazzy than normal and challenging, which I like. It does my voice justice. She says I need to talk in my "diva" voice while I'm in the car or whatever, b/c she says I talk too low. I may sound like a whole new Crystal by the time this semster is over...at least that's what she keeps threatening...hmm...
In other blogs...I posted more poetry. It's kinda dark, but I like it. It's weird, at night my mind can't stop and things just flow. You can tell which words I love at certain times in my life, b/c it's reflected in my poetry. The words "depth", "glassy", and "darkness" are gooders and "silence" and "night" are always in there somewhere. Oh well.
Actually we don't have very many wells in this area, but we probably do.
I was going to plant a pineapple, but decided not to b/c it's kind of alot of money and space I don't have. Perhaps another time. I am contemplating starting an herb garden however (inspired by Dawn on the "Babysitter's Club" and Johanna, that wonderful Canadian).
Oh man, so I had the worst migraine yesterday, oh it was so bad, I think it was from 3 things: dehydration, not eating enough, and driving around all day. Wednesdays aren't being good days for me. I need to get outside more.
Currently I am listening to Bach- Air on the G-string. I think I'm going to cry, it's so beautiful.
I also went to the store, not sure why, I like to shop when I don't feel very well, at least I tell myself I'm just going to look and I don't. I went to the Goodwill and bought some books and some overalls, granted I could make excuses for everything I bought. Than later I went to ShopKo and bought a few things for the kitchen, to decorate me hoose, and something for my sister. I made excuses for all those things too. Than I went to Wal-Mart and dropped off my film, determined to leave right away, I did. But I think I lost a mitten in the process. So sad, I truly feel like crying. I loved each one of them, hopefully it's at my house and I'm just blind. But I do have to be more disciplined about shopping, though I did go into Goodwill looking for two things...one of them was free weights, can't remember what the other thing was...
I went running yesterday. Class got canceled and I spent 35 beautiful, long-awaited minutes on the treadmill in our fitness center (which is free! Oh, how God has graced me!). It felt wonderful. They were like 10 minute miles, but who cares. I felt alive and it was so lovely. Than I lifted weights and did some stretching. Hmmm...til we meet again running, I love you.
I still feel "", this weird feeling of numbness, but it could be a number of things: not enough sleep, stressing out about school, stuff, worrying (I've remained a pro, though am getting better), Jesus stuff, maybe just having groups here. Today I was so tired, I had to keep my eyes closed most of the time in the car on the way back from school, (no I wasn't driving) and it was nice with the sun on my face and a slight breeze. It was kind of relaxing. I miss home though. I am starting to revert back to high school when I used to be so exhausted that I would fall asleep with all the lights on, on my homework. Which makes me feel worse cause I'm wasting electricity and couch-sleep isn't real sleep, so I'm even more tired. I am determined to change my ways, but I am soft. I guess I am not so determined than. I need boundaries, guidelines, a unmoving conscience. I never really had any of these ever, and I still don't. I keep getting into situations where I have a few responsibilities to other ppl, which I happily, readily, and consistently oblige to, but I am free to do what I want and am left on my own. I have to be careful to keep in contact with ppl, otherwise I will hermitize. I'm pretty good at it. So I have to make sure to get out there and do stuff with ppl. But I did join a YAM group and am in classes with ppl I know, more socialization, I s'pose. So, I guess what I really need is discipline to balance myself, I tend to be an extremist, so...yeah.
That's what's been going on I guess, it's been awhile since a detailed update. God is still very good to me. I'm reading more of my Bible and like I mentioned previously, started a new journal. I'm pretty excited, but feel the need for more. I'm still thirsty, so thirsty and I am trying to quench it but it never seems to get there, not even for a moment. I don't know what that means, but either way, I think physically and spiritually I am dehydrated. I'm gonna go now and do homework and drink some water...both kinds. Miss and love you all. Peace out.
Using discipline to leave...must leave...heehee...
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