So it's late. I have a few more poems to put up. Written after reading my yearbook, though you wouldn't think so. Life is so crazy. Changes happen just like that, though there are restorations and such, life is so different.
Today I got a very generous gift from a friend I made this last summer. Crazy. I cried, I laughed, I didn't know what to do with myself. I was lost for how to thank them, nothing seemed like enough, nothing ever will be enough. But it reminded me of Christ and how He works in our lives. He gives us gifts, b/c the soul purpose of a gift is to be enjoyed, cherished, and appreciated, not necessarily returned. It adds this connection b/c you realize through the gift that that person cares for you, they want to help you and give you what they can. It's one of the best feelings in the world. I always come back to Christ, which is not a bad thing, b/c He also provides ppl who do these things for you. He gives them their heart, He nourishes them, He saved them too, He is the one that they are listening to and that is so wonderful. Life is beautiful and must be lived. I have been feeding my mind with Christ, spending mornings with Him, though the rest of the day is stressful for me. Moving has not been easy at all. Not that I'm fighting it, but I've been told it's natural for girls to be more impacted by this move. In some fashion I am completely ready to move, wanting the adventure, anticipating the plans God has laid for me in Colorado, on the other hand, I am tired, I am restless, and I am physically alone, doing this by myself. I have many who are doing much through prayer, support, and calls. You wonder if others are just so busy with their own lives to care or help. Those are thoughts that have since drifted. It makes you realize that it's difficult to be a strong female on her own. Not even my father is near. But somehow I know that in the future there will be someone that I can help with this experience. Someone that i can lift up and be there for b/c I know the difficulties of doing this on my own. It's nice to know and understand that God uses all that we are and all we are going through for good. It's wonderful to be His and to always want to be near Him and to understand that above all things, He is there in the silence, through the tears and laughter, when you fall, fail, and are ready to let go, when you're happy and joyous and giddy with delight, in the bad times, in the good times, when you've made a huge mistake or even a small one. When the wisdom you've gained from Him, life, experience, and others comes in handy. When you've allowed yourself to drift from Him, when you've allowed yourself to fall at His feet and lie there for hours, days, years. When you can't help but sing out forever louder. When you're voice can't be found. When you feel so alone that it's unbearable, when you're in a crowded room, when you are on the mountaintop. He is always there, always. that is good. He is good.
I love Him.