and God said.

AND GOD SAID...
===============

I said, "God, I hurt."
And God said, "I know."

I said, "God, I cry a lot."
And God said, "That's why I gave you tears."

I said, "God, I am so depressed."
And God said, "That's why I gave you sunshine."

I said, "God, life is so hard."
And God said, "That's why I gave you loved ones."

I said, "God, my loved one died."
And God said, "So did mine."

I said, "God, It is such a loss."
And God said, "I saw mine nailed to a cross."

I said, "God, where are they now?"
And God said, "Mine is on my right and yours is in the light."

I said, "God it hurts."
And God said, "I know."

~ by K.C. and Myke Kuzmic~
Posted on the wall at the Oklahoma City bombing site.

I find myself in a slightly crazy situation. So much to do, yet I'm a worried little, so far. Finished my math exam today to the minute and a few over. I hope stress doesn't overtake me, though tiredness has. I think I am exhausted. My brain exhausts me. I love to stay up and do things. Though I spend the day trying to stay awake. No dice. I miss friends. But I am excited about my outreach here. God has truly blessed me with a place to show His love for the unsaved. I hope they see Him, it's not like I'm not getting an ample amount of opportunities to talk and share Him with others. I love it. I love to talk about Him. I think it makes others uncomfy. I told a few of my friends in class, if I may call them that, that I am so glad to have Him b/c He directs me and shows me where I should go. He is my Provider and my Maker and I am not to be ashamed of Him. I find that the more times I am bold about Him to others, the more I find others who follow Him. I was open about Him in the school bookstore and the lady I was talking to also knows Him and it was wonderful to talk. So much Jesus to spread around and so little time. I am glad to go to a community college where my outreach is bigger. I love the ppl there though I cannot accept what they do or how they act or what they say as right or agreeable. But I love them just the same. As long as they know who my number 1 is...I was listening to a sermon from the Evangelical Free Church here in town and his topic was reaching out. Not using hanging out with unbelievers to be able to sin....like going to a bar and getting drunk b/c than you can have an opportunity to talk about Jesus. He said, "They don't want you to live like them. They want to see that you have something they don't. If you act just like them, why would they want what you have, they already have it." Obviously not verbatim, but amazingly so, I was struck and nearly cried by the end of the sermon. There are so many out there who don't know Christ and we are content to stay in our Christian clans. Not that that is entirely bad, we need our support structures, but there is so much more to this life than me and sometimes, alot of times, I am good at forgetting that.
I am wearing earplugs right now. I am trying to experience a bit of what someone who is partially deaf experiences. It's really frustrating. Not being able to hear all the way. Class was difficult and talking in the car was worse. I decided that someone who has even partial hearing usually feels better off just not participating, than having to worry about talking too loud, not being able to hear the response, etc., etc. It really makes me wonder how bad my hearing will be when I am older. I went to alot of loud concerts and that damage cannot be undone. Though the concerts rocked, was it worth it? Don't know, we'll see..or hear I guess...
Looks like I will be moving to Denver in the fall and attending the Art Institute of Colorado. It's a stretch for me, b/c I think I am going into the 2 year program...eeeeh! Not sure if that's gonna tickle my fancy later on, but I've been praying for awhile and peace is all I got...so, God has never steered me wrong. I'm pretty sure He wouldn't start now...=)
I love God, alot. I find His Word so refreshing and enlightening. Even Numbers, which most find trying, though not as trying as Leviticus. I just love it, so many questions have come to my head. I love to ask them cause I want to talk about God. That's one thing I find kind of frustrating while in a Christian community. It's so easy not to talk about God, b/c you know everyone is a Christian. Not that talking about other stuff is bad, but I want to talk about God. I want to know what He's doing in your life, cause He's rockin' mine. I don't know. Maybe it's just me.
Well, I wanted to be home about 9, so I gotta scoot.
Always in Christ,
Crysta!

P.s. Mexico was amazing and worth every minute, second, dollar...I loved it.