Sunday, September 25, 2005

hmmm

man, these past few days have been hard. I have a bad attitude that keeps coming round. I get rid of it and than it comes back. I think I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Do you ever feel like the world owes you something. I keep giving it to God and sorting it out. It really frustrates me b/c I don't want this to be continually happening. I keep saying stuff and am like, "man, I shouldn't have said that. I am a jerk/stupid-head/mrr." I feel like a poo. I guess I'm just insecure right now. Could be tiredness. But this attitude is not positive or constructive.
It's almost like what Paul says when he talks about how what he wants to do he doesn't do and what he doesn't want to do, he does. I feel like I'm sinning all of the time, or am at least aware of it all the time. Than I apologize to ppl for being dumb and they are like, "oh, were you having a hard time?" so even though it's all internal and ppl can't see it, do I still apologize? what do I do? i want ppl to know so that they know what's going on in my life but I don't want to sound like I am complaining or whatever, y'know? man, sometimes it sucks being me, well, certain aspects of it anyways. Well, I got a fork stuck in my finger while I was putting away silverware. I made a makeshift bandaid out of masking tape and a paper towel. It's always a good cover. Yeah. I have alot of homework to do, that includes the finance study I am doing at the church I attend out here. It's gonna be good I think. I will learn how to properly budget and save and all that. So I am excited. My devo is just going through how to trust God and faithfulness right now. It changes every week (four week study). So I am enjoying that as well.
Do you ever feel like you are just waiting for God to do something in your life? I know that He is doing something right now, but just like you are living each day for Him, going through your trials, yet waiting for what He has planned for you? Does that make any sense? Well, on that note, I am falling asleep over here. Happy Sunday! Love and miss all of you!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Dalton said...

I understand. And I understand the Paul sin thing.

And everything in His timing. perseverance is all I can tell you.